A journey through life, love, and leadership.
So… a few months ago, I took what I considered “A leap of faith”. I resigned from my career as an Educator to pursue my life-long dream of working solely for my non-profit, D.I.V.A.S. Mentoring Program, Inc. I had only been in the field of education for three years, but I knew in my heart, I was not fulfilling my life’s purpose. Because fulfilling your purpose makes you feel complete and energized, but I felt the opposite. I felt empty and drained. I was simply caught in the idea of job security, and most importantly, my direct deposit. Every day it was the same routine, and the same pep talk; my intrinsic motivation was no longer there. And honestly, I felt so empty because I knew my full potential was not being maximized.
When did I notice things had to change?
In late September of last year, I started asking myself, “why am I here? When is the next break?”. I knew then, that something had to change. My love for teaching had changed because of several factors: School leadership, frequent student testing, outrageous policies, but most importantly, knowing that I wasn’t really helping students learn. I know you may be wondering how is that? But honestly, my students came to me as sixth graders reading on a second-grade level. And anyone in their right mind would think to teach the students at their present level of performance, because clearly several fundamental steps were missed in primary school. Unfortunately, that was not the case, students are expected to learn grade level material despite the fact that they are not on grade level. And I think the worst part is knowing that teachers will continue to promote students to the next grade, despite the student’s very evident deficits. I did not want to have any parts of such a failing system.
So, I began to consider leaving the school system. I was introduced to another teacher who believed and my vision for my organization. She eventually introduced me to her mentor who helped me put things into perspective. That mentor instilled in me the importance of energy and self-preservation, the importance of placing a value on my worth, and the importance of always finding and listening to people that can motivate me to be my best. I was creating an exit strategy, and didn’t even know it. The more I learned, the more strength and wisdom I obtained. By November, I was so fired up with energy, I wanted to quit my job right then and there. But something else happened…
A Fearful Road
Reality set in…who was I kidding? I had three children and a husband. I wasn’t some college student who wanted to chase some long-time dream. I was an adult with a lot of financial responsibilities. Hundreds of questions ran rapidly through my mind as I began to ask myself “How do you expect to make money? What’s your game plan? Who will suffer because of my sacrifice? Am I selfish for wanting to follow my passion?” I was killing my own dream before it even gained enough strength to exist. My biggest mistake was looking at what would be lost, instead of what could be gained. I didn’t know how to be great without putting my finances in great danger.
Needless to say, I went back and forth with myself and talked myself in, and out of leaving. I tried to convince God that it wasn’t time. I told God, “If I teach one more year, it will pay back my Teach Grant, and if I teach two more years, 17.5k of my loans will be paid back by the government”. I thought to myself, there’s no rush in leaving, my dreams can wait. And part of that is true, your dreams can wait, but your purpose and destiny can not. The longer you prolong your purpose, you are prolonging the people you are assigned to help. Someone is waiting on you to be great, so that you can open up a door for them. NOTHING that we go through is for us, it’s for the people we are assigned to help.
My job continued to challenge me and display open injustices against me. I felt like I didn’t belong there anymore. I turned in my resignation letter in late January, informing my principal that I would finish the school year, but that I had no intentions on returning the following year. I was so nervous. What did I just do? It was time. I prayed, and even bargained with God that if he would show me a sign that this is what I was suppose to be doing, then I wouldn’t question him again. I promised that I will follow his will for my life, but I needed to see a concrete sign. And I don’t know if you’ve ever asked God to show you a sign…but God is a bit of an over achiever, so he doesn’t just send you one sign, he sends you multiple signs.
A few months past, and to no surprise, doors began to open for my program. I received emails about partnering from companies that I had emailed months ago; and I received phone calls about possible grants for my program, all within one week. God was showing up, and showing out for me. But then fear kicked in again. I asked, “Well God, what about money? Where will the money come from to sustain my family’s needs.” The following week we received a check in the mail from our insurance company. It supposedly was sent to the wrong address two months prior to arriving at our home. I don’t know about you, but I serve an on-time GOD! We had no idea that we were receiving back pay from our insurance. I am too spiritual to believe in coincidence, I know that our time isn’t God’s time, and the things that we worry about, he already has in control. The bricks were slowly but surely following in place, but it would be up to me to follow the yellow brick road.
Stay tuned for what happened next.
